Calling All Soles: Shoe-Shaped Church

January 17, 2016 By 2 Comments

Yes, you read that correctly, Taiwan has built a giant, shiny, shoe-shaped church. The 55-foot (Ha! I wrote foot, snicker) tall structure looks like Cinderella’s slipper on steroids. The Southwest Coast National Scenic Area constructed the church in an effort to attract female worshippers and tourists to the site. Which I believe it will, heaven knows I wanna visit the shoe mecca.  I wonder what they would erect (snicker again) to attract male worshipers? Insert many risqué ideas here. I’ll go with brasserie.

Surprisingly, neither Las Vegas nor Disney was in on the planning. Apparently the shoe design was inspired by a local girl’s sad story. In the 1960s, a young bride to be lost both of her legs to Blackfoot disease, leading to the cancellation of her wedding. She remained unmarried and spent the rest of her life at a church. The high heel is intended to honor her memory. Oh yeah and bring boatloads of tourists.

The building is set to open on the Chinese New Year, February 8th. It’s the year of the sheep by the way, which biblically seems fitting…the shoe is my Shepard…. The church will not be used for regular services but instead for weddings.

I’m not sure how I feel about mixing worship with a pump, but somewhere in church I learned that is not the outward appearance that counts, but the character of what happens inside that matters. So I’m no one the judge what is in the hearts of the worshipers in the shoe church. And those who pray in glass churches really should not throw stones/shoes.  Besides Calvary Chapel has made a very good go of repurposing all the old Safeway grocery stores in California. I have even attended services there a few times. If good people gather – the building really doesn’t matter.

I wonder if Imelda Marcos will be the patron saint? Or will Dr. Scholl deliver all the uplifting sermons? It will be a church dedicated to saving your sole and all heels are welcome. Your sole’s salvation lies within…

Laura

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It Never Rains in Southern California

January 10, 2016 By 1 Comment

This iconic song by … I bet you don’t know. I know I didn’t. I’ve heard this song 1000’s of times and would of in a millions years never guessed… Drumroll…Albert Hammond. He is a British singer songwriter. So compared to UK weather, it must feel like it never rains in sunny SoCal.

Well it rained this week, didn’t it my Cali friends. And thank you to the friends who sent me this picture of high-heeled swim fins. I love shoes and I love funny, a perfect combo, thank you.

Because I have spent a quality amount of time in places with “real” weather, I can tell you it really doesn’t rain in Southern California. Which is a whole other issue.

But until you have experienced rain that breaks your umbrella- yes broken, rain that pelts your body so hard, side ways, you think it will bruise you and have been completely soaked in less than 3 seconds, WITH an umbrella, Oh and its freezing, no actually freezing under 32F, not what Californians think is freezing which is anything under 60F, you have never really experienced rain. That was one very long run on sentence. Sorry to all the English teachers.

Californians are weather pussies. And I totally include myself in this group. I’m a native, I love SoCal, it is my home.  We/ I like it sunny, but not too hot, a nice breeze off the ocean is perfect, but not wind. We/I like our sky blue and our clouds white, not grey. We/I have a temperature tolerance of about 9 degrees (Fahrenheit) So about 68F to 77F degrees is how we/I like to roll. Everything else is unacceptable!  We/I don’t know what to do when our narrow weather parameters are altered. We can’t drive. We really don’t know how to drive in weather, as a group, it is frightening.  We can’t work—not with all this rain. It’s depressing. We can’t go out – its too cold. Basically we break down. And all the local news can do is focus on “Storm Watch”—like some great catastrophe took place. It rained 2 inches this week. Lets get a bit of perspective.

Here’s some perspective. A few years back I was doing the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in Boston. Over the course of 2 days 100s of people walked 40 miles to raise money and awareness for breast cancer. It’s Boston, its May I show up 5am for the walk, which today will be 26 miles. It’s raining, the kind of rain I mentioned above. I’m from SoCal, I don’t do rain. I’m trying to have a good attitude, its charity, but again I’m soaked already and cold. I might have been a bit too whiny because this 70ish year old women who I could tell from her appearance was recently or currently in treatment for cancer, turned and looked at me and then utter these words which I have replayed in my mind many a time when I feel I need checking.

“Really its just rain, stop being such a pussy.”

I was just shut down and given my walking papers by an older lady with cancer who also was doing this walk. I will never forget her.  So I put a smile on my face, knowing that blisters heal and walked those 26 miles in horrible rain with a grateful heart that I don’t have cancer.

Get really SoCal El Nino is coming. Find your umbrellas, Maybe leave some extra times to drive safely, get those tires checked—Hell its rain- stay home and hide, that’s the safest way and invite me over for hot cocoa.

Bonus trivia, Benjamin Franklin invented swim fins, bet you would not have guessed that one either.

Laura

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Silly Little Things

January 3, 2016 By 2 Comments

“It’s ALL about the shoes”

“Two words for anyone who doesn’t think shoes are important. Cinderella & Dorothy”

Pretty much every one in my circle of friends to causal acquaintances knows I fancy me some pretty shoes. I try not to bore people in conversation about shoes—but some of the kicks I’m sporting often spur a few sentences of chatter. Think of them as an icebreaker in making small talk. Hell the boots I wore for NYE this year got periscoped by no less than 4 people.  Truth be told these boots were worthy of the publicity. Anyhow, it is not uncommon for friends to generously gift me with shoe themed knickknacks. Which I adore—of course.

Friends have given me small wall plaques with the above sayings. I have been given a shoe wine caddy and a few pretty Christmas ornaments of fancy shoes. But this year- the funniest prize goes to my cute little shoe coasters.  So adorable and frankly useful. Coasters always seemed like a silly gift, like a paperweight. But now that I have snappy leopard pump points—I’m not really sure how I lived without them. So much more fun and stylish than a cardboard beer mat, now even my glass is sporting CFMs. God Bless silly little things that make us smile. Happy 2016. May you find oodles of joy in the silly little things.

Laura

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Run Run Rudolph

December 27, 2015 By Leave a Comment

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is so ensconced in Christmas that is hard to imagine it was not a poem, song, movie, or even a television special initially. Rudolph, the young buck with a luminous red nose, after enduring mocking from his peers manages to prove himself one Christmas Eve by leading Santa’s sleigh on a foggy winter night. His special capabilities lead to saving Christmas and acceptance from his fellow reindeer. And really don’t we all want acceptance and acknowledgment for our uniqueness? Oh Rudy, I didn’t know your little fiction was going to evocate such depth.

This cute little parable was created by Robert L. May in 1939 as a publicity- money saving assignment for Montgomery Ward. The retailer had been gifting coloring books for Christmas every year and decided that creating their own book rather than purchasing from an outside source would save money. Originally, Rudolph was supposed to be a moose but was changed to a reindeer, which seemed friendlier. Rollo and Reginald were both names under consideration before deciding upon Rudolph. Can you imagine Rollo the red nosed moose? Not as catchy. Note to all writers including myself; always adhere to all available alliteration as authorized acceptable. Another problem with Rudolph’s initial conception was the issue of a bright red nose. Then as now, it is associated with chronic alcoholism. Rudolph’s shiny nose lead to the story’s initial rejection. Because of this, Rudolph came to be illustrated so adorably cute. The alert, bouncy, adolescent reindeer could never be construed as a drunkard.

In Rudolph’s first year of publication, Montgomery Ward distributed 2.4 million copies of the coloring book.  For you poetic types the story is written as a poem in anapestic tetrameter, the same meter as “Twas the Night Before Christmas”. Because you wanted to know. Admit it, you wanted to know.

Then came the song, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” and it is the 2nd most successful Christmas song in history. (White Christmas is numero uno). Written by someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas, of course. Since Rudolph’s launch into popular culture, he has been mentioned in numerous songs besides the classic, feature films and even a series of postage stamps.

These pumps are all-wrong, the nose is green. However, at first glance, we all know they are an incarnation of Rudolph.  Now I can’t really prance around in these festive babies all year long, but they were kitschy enough to push me into the finals of the ugly sweater contest, which I won by a nose.

Happy Merry Everything!

Laura

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The Force Awakens!

December 21, 2015 By Leave a Comment

So can anyone tell me…did a movie come out this weekend?

Just so you know, there will be no spoilers in this blog, so read with confidence, I will give nothing away. I was made acutely aware of how passionate people feel about Stars Wars when I was at a holiday party last night and was discussing the movie with a friend. We were reprimanded for talking about the movie –out in pubic where others could possibly hear us. If we choose to discuss the movie we were instructed to take it outside in the rain (yes it was raining in Los Angeles- it happens). I now understand the resentment smokers must feel when banished outside to participate in their unsavory habit. I hate cigarettes. Please, I’m a native Californian it is part of our native by-laws to hate cigarette smoke. But next time I pass a smoker standing outside alone in the rain I will have a sympathetic smile.

Anyhow, what I like best about all the Star Wars hoopla is that people, whole families, all of social media for at least a few days was stirred up and excited about something fun. I saw hundreds of people walking about with lightsabers. It is a nice reprieve from guns, hatred of any/all types international and local, Donald Trump and anything Kardashian.

A friend sent me this photo the day before the movie came out. He knows I love shoes and action-adventure movies. Many a movie has influenced fashions. For example there wasn’t a formal or prom dress the year Indecent Proposal came out that didn’t mimic Demi Moore’s stunning black dress from that movie.  However, the fashion influence is usually after the movie has come out, not before. That is how popular Stars Wars is; it’s having a reverse fashion influence.

What I need to know is, would the force be strong with me while wearing them? I bet in these shoes I could find anyone, even a Jedi.

Laura

 

 

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“One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s Treasure”

December 13, 2015 By Leave a Comment

Used, hand-me-downs, second-hand, previously owned, vintage and/or recycled. Whatever you want to call it, you weren’t the first owner.  Bonus, you didn’t pay full price. Not new, can be very deceptive. My first pair of Louboutins (and only—so far ;o) I purchased in a consignment store. Technically used, second-hand, previously owned… But they had never been worn. Score! I procured them for a third of the price. Sadly, I didn’t get the fancy box, however I was spared the enormous price tag. I will survive somehow. The wife of a billionaire who lives in Las Vegas happens to fancy fabulous footwear, and just so happens to wear my size. Sin City has now become even more dangerous. Selling unwanted goods second-hand instead of discarding them obviously benefits the seller, you get a little cash on the back end. Yes I know my Louboutins previous owner is a billionaire’s wife–but billions or no billions I can hear her husband “Did you really need another pair of shoes?” Some things are universal, bucko bucks or not. This way she gets a bit of petty cash. And I can acquire ridiculously expensive shoes at a slightly less ridiculous price. Win win! Hand- me-downs generally refer to used items, also previously owned but most of the time are gifted to you from a person cleaning out their closet. Anyone from a large family is very familiar with this concept. I have been the giver and the recipient of this exchange on many occasions. However when I ‘place’ a pair of my shoes in a new home I call it shoe adoption. My shoes are my babies and I need them to go to a good home. I also have had the good fortune of being on the receiving end of ‘new to me’ shoes. Generally they are not of the CFM glitz caliber I like but quite serviceable for the day-to-day deeds. And vintage is just fancy verbiage for used and old. But what constitutes vintage is up for debate. So the next time I travel to Vegas, it really will be because “ baby needs a new pair of shoes.” Laura

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Oh Christmas Tree

December 6, 2015 By Leave a Comment

I love Christmas trees!  However, I am conflicted.  To chop down a glorious 6-7 year old noble fir for the greedy gratification of adornment for of a few weeks seems wasteful, indulgent and overall not very ‘green’. I know artificial trees can be equally as beautiful but I love the smell of a fresh evergreen.  As a child I would lay next to our Christmas tree for hours and watch the lights twinkle and dance across the ceiling, the smell of the pine with the sound and warmth of a fire in the fireplace, did I mention we didn’t have a TV? This was a favorite place to daydream. We did burn our tree, so at least it served a second purpose and not just discarded to the curb. Which always seems like a gruel ending after an exalted few weeks. And if you have never burned a Christmas tree, they make fabulous kindling. FYI wrapping paper is also fun to burn, it blazes into magnificent colors, but most likely horrible for the environment.

Germany is credited with starting the Christmas tree traditions, as we now know them. Hence the hideous holiday carol “O Tannenbaum”, German for Christmas tree. If this song is a favorite of yours, I apologize. I have always found it repetitious with a rather dressing melody.

Somewhere in the 16th century is when devout European Christians brought decorated trees into their homes. It is believed that Martin Luther, the 16th-century Protestant reformer, was the first to add lighted candles to a tree.  (That seems safe. Sarcasm.) Inspired while walking home one winter evening, he was awed by the brilliance of stars twinkling amidst evergreens.

Early Americans found Christmas trees peculiar.  Even as late as the 1840s Christmas trees were seen as pagan symbols and not accepted by most Americans. Squashing the heathen traditions of Christmas carols, decorated trees, and any joyful expression that desecrated that sacred event were in some places in America enforced by law.  Can you imagine criminal charges for having a Christmas tree? Things have changed a lot in America!

However in 1846, popular British royals, Queen Victoria and her German Prince, Albert, (think Kate and William in People Magazine) were sketched in the Illustrated London News standing with their children around a Christmas tree. Unlike the previous royal family, Victoria was very popular with her subjects and what was done at court immediately became fashionable, not only in Britain, but also with fashion-conscious East Coast American Society. Voila, the Christmas tree had arrived.

Europeans generally use small trees about four feet in height, while Americans like Christmas trees that reach the ceiling. We have always liked things bigger in America.

Electricity brought about Christmas lights~ early 1900s. With this, Christmas trees began to appear in town squares across the country and having a Christmas tree in the home became an American tradition.

This ‘holiday’ tree is by no means traditional, it will not infuse the room with the scent of pine, but I would happily display it in my home Mr. Louboutin if you would like to supply the raw materials.

Happy Chanukah, Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel all that and more—peace on earth and good will towards men… falalalalalalalala….

Laura

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I am Wonder Woman

November 30, 2015 By Leave a Comment

I’m pretty sure I NEED these.

Ok, I want these.

Ok, I’d really like to have them.

Okaaaayyy, I don’t need them at all, but it would be so cool to wear them on stage and while banishing bad guys.

Actually what I really want to do is thank all the lovely people on social media who have sent me this clip and thought of me.  (And all the other shoe clips/pictures in the past and the green doors pictures too) Its Thanksgiving weekend and I am grateful of all you cyber/social media friends who know about my partiality for pretty shoes, follow my travel escapades, come to my shows, and comment on my daily trivia and words. Your comments and insights have inspired me, make me laugh and help me enjoy each day just a little more. Thank you!

But now seriously I need these shoes. I would rock them like I was Lynda Carter and would do my best to fight crime. Can we get a kick- starter going? Anyone have a spare grand and wanna fund me as I venture into 2016 at a super hero in fabulous footwear? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Laura

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My Foot is a Burrito

October 25, 2015 By Leave a Comment

Maybe because I grew up in Southern California, with a heavy Hispanic influence, maybe because I travel a lot in countries that don’t know how amazing fresh Pico de Gallo can be on almost everything, but my craving for Mexican food starts about 10 days away from home. As a warning: NEVER go to a Mexican Restaurant in the UK. You will be sad and so disappointed. Learn to love or at least try what local cultures do well in your travels. Save yourself for the real deal upon your return. With that said I’ve now been to Scotland 7 times and still have not had haggis. However this last time I did have the infamous deep-fried Mars bar. Which while very tasty, I’m not sure was worth the calories. I have been known to stop by my favorite taco joint on the way home from LAX, for a fix. FYI its Hermosa Mexican. Fabulous!  The chicken tacos always make me happy I’m home.  And they slather on the guacamole at no extra charge! Take that Chipotle. Yes I’m a sucker for tacos.  What about the burrito you ask? While the burrito is traditional to some areas in the north of Mexico, in the south of Mexico it exists almost exclusively for tourists. The burrito is basically an impostor food. By the way, burrito actually means “little donkey.” The most popular theory as to why is that it was served out of the back of donkey carts.  Donkey has never been an ingredient, I hope.  Some theories suggest burritos look like the bed rolls donkeys often carried. To be honest no one knows why. But Laura what does this have to do with shoes?

Well the Italian shoemaker Vibram, more commonly known for its military footwear, has come up with a solution to this problem of shoes that don’t fit perfectly with its Furoshiki Shoes. Furoshiki (風呂敷) is a traditional Japanese wrapping cloth used for transporting goods. I have received a gift once wrapped this way- very impressive and beautiful. Furoshiki shoes, created by Japanese designer Masaya Hashimoto, have no laces and instead wrap around the foot–hence the name–fastening with Velcro.

Vibram calls it the first ever “wrapping sole.”

Lets be honest- it is a foot burrito. Or it could be a foot eggroll, but eggrolls are Chinese not Japanese.  So maybe it foot sushi roll. Regardless Bon appetit!

.

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Tower of Babel, Heavenly Shoes and God

September 28, 2015 By Leave a Comment

The story of the city of Babel is recorded in Genesis 11: 1-9. Apparently at that time of Babel everyone on earth spoke the same language. They got together and decided to build a city and a tower into the sky to reach God. That is the story I remember from Sunday school.

Recently looking up the Tower of Babel – apparently the story is a bit different. God came down to look at the city and tower, remarked that as one people with one language, nothing that they sought would be out of their reach. So God confounded their speech, so that they could no longer understand each other and then scattered them over the face of the earth. Doesn’t seem very nice.

Ok, I know God works in mysterious ways—but I think we could really gain some ground on world peace if we all spoke the same language. I don’t want to get into a biblical discussion about this, not really the point. But the Old Testament God is way meaner than the New Testament God.—just saying.

I was given this mug with the saying “ The higher the heel —the closer to God’ by a friend, its fun. They know I wear skyscraper shoes – so this is my tallest pair- just shy of 6 inches. I will now refer to them as my heavenly shoes.


I’m more of a believer that God is all around us, maybe not an omnipresence in all things at all times, but more of that concept than way up in the sky somewhere. But again—your deity can be anywhere you like—I just think whoever they are for you—regardless of beliefs– they would like us all to be a bit nicer to each other. “Do unto others… “ you know the rest? Be nice—it matters. Sunday school is over.

Laura

 

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