Never Wear White Before Easter

Or is Memorial Day? And is it white in general or just white shoes?

Of course I’ve known the ‘white rule’ my whole life. As a child the new Easter dress, pretty hat and white gloves were part of the excitement of Easter, along with chocolate bunnies and egg dying.

Where did it the ‘white rule originate? And why?

I checked the ultimate source, etiquette expert, Miss Manners,

“White shoes may be worn only after Memorial Day and before Labor Day. “

“Otherwise, you will develop warts on your toes. “ (Honest, she really wrote that.)

But this doesn’t explain why, except to avoid warts. Good thing Miss Manners was not an MD.

From my online investigations there seems to be some controversy as to which is correct white before Easter or Memorial Day, but the white wearing cut off is always Labor Day.  Also some claim it only applies to white shoes, not white clothing. Confusion!

Also this ‘rule’ seems more deeply rigid in the South than other parts of the country.  Online I read very passionate explanations for the ‘white rule’ from Southerners:

“Only hicks wear white shoes before Easter”

“Why is there a white shoe rule?  Because my Mother, both Grandmothers, Great Grandmothers, Aunts, Great Aunts, 17 Cousins and 47 neighbors told me so. It just is!”

Or my favorite:

“Here’s the deal, if you aren’t a baby, bride, or retro nurse with a big blue cape, put the white shoes away during fall and winter seasons. The world needs rules. We need order. We need to know what to do. It’s peaceful that way. No rational explanation, it’s just the way it is. Period.”

So there you go. Clear now?

Ah no.

I hate to play devil’s advocate, but wonder if you are in a place the does not celebrate Easter? Most of the world is not Christian, (no hate) just stating facts. And apparently Miami, Florida is not part of the Deep South? I have been there in the winter and have observed plenty of white attire and shoes. Are they all hicks? Heathens might be closer. Miami is its own world.

So now that I have you curious about why the ‘white rule’ even if you never cared before, the best I can deduce is there are several reasons for the ‘rule’.

First, class distinction. Rich people wore white. White clothing meant you were wealthy enough to be on vacation after summer. Not a lot of lower income workers playing tennis or golf, activities known to sport a lot of white in their preferred attire.

Second, wearing light/white summer clothes in the fall when the weather is cooler is just not sensible. This seems logical but did we really need a ‘rule’ for us to understand that a white cotton dress is not a good selection on a cold rainy day? Ok maybe some of us need to be told. Can you hear you mom telling you to bring a jacket?

Third, and this really makes the most sense to me — Because fashion editors said so, the people who control fashion trends resided in New York. The forces behind Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, etc. The Big Apple’s climate is more or less the same every year; a hot summer, rainy fall, freezing winter and a refreshing spring to start the cycle back over again. Since all the fashion editors lived in New York, they produced magazine layouts to reflect what they dressed in without the rest of the country’s climates in mind. This meant light whites in the summer vanished from the glossy pages once the rain of autumn settled in. And this usually happens around Labor Day. It was a way to get shoppers to buy and consume—yes it’s all about money.

So are we clear now?!?

Happy Easter

Laura

 

 

 

 

 

Just ‘Cause you Can—Doesn’t Mean you Should

Unless you are doing an Avant Guade school project, you are a couture designer making a statement or a contestant on Project Runway some things should just be left as ideas, not actually viable products for consumption.  I know this gets into a whole debate over function verse fashion, and art is highly subjective. And I’m fan of repurposing resources, but sometimes the effort doesn’t seem worth the outcome.  For example a meat dress, yes it happened, but really why.

Because I love shoes, and this is well known by many, I get sent all types of shoes pictures and factoids, which I love. This week I informed about shoes made to simulate the look of meteorites. Now this sounds really cool, but honestly they are so ugly the novelty was not worth the effort involved to create them. Pockmarked pumice pumps (I like alliterations) judge for your self, I included a photo. And this is a flattering picture.

I have heard of shoes made from discarded furniture- good on them for the recycling aspect, interesting yes, pretty no.

There is a Taiwanese hair stylist who uses the cut hair from her salon to make shoes; they are not ugly surprisingly, but still odd. Not my cup of tea.

I have seen shoes made of old circuit boards, Legos and aluminum cars, creative yes, but still not pretty.

But the winner of ‘yes you can, but why’—drum roll please– pumps made from elephant dung. Yes, you read that correctly, elephant dung.

My shoe fanaticism has not evolved to the point where I will ever think this is a good idea. Pretty, comfortable and/ or functional, these are the qualities I want from my shoes, weird, ugly and gross, I’ll pass. Possibly I lack the sophistication to appreciate high art, I will learn to live with my shortcomings.

Laura

 

It’s All Rock & Rock

Live music, live comedy, actually any live performance is sooo much better than passively sitting on the couch and watching.

Quick example, watching a concert of the Rolling Stones and being at a Stones concert two very different experiences. When you go and see a live show of any kind you are part of it, even as audience you added to the event. There is an energy that can only be perceived when sharing the actual event. Trust me on this as a comedian I can tell you the audience can make a huge difference on the fun level of the show. Just because you are not on stage doesn’t mean you didn’t add to the experience.

There is also an intangible quality to (almost) all live shows. There is energy and an experience we collectively shared that cannot be repeated and was uniquely special for just us in attendance. I think this is why I love performances of any kind. The connection to the performance can touch us; make us collectively feel alive and human, something than doesn’t transfer to the two-dimensional plane of TV.

From a practical standpoint, seeing a concert can be a challenge especially for women. We paid for seats, but will be actually sitting? How far will we have to walk to get to the ‘seats’? Realistically will we be sitting at all? U2, Rolling Stones, Judas Priest, STP, Prince, Lady Gaga, Steel Panther, ACDC, Billy Idol, White Stripes, Van Halen and yes-even Tom Jones, I never sat down once for the entire concert.

This can be a challenge, you need shoes that are rocker cool, and you can walk in and stand in for a long time and my personal preference as tall as possible. The height is not required but a huge bonus if you want to be able to see over the crowd to see the rock stars strut their stuff. These boots are so cool and they fit all my concert going requirements. Tonight I’ll be at 2Cellos, and I suspect again there will be no sitting.

Laura

 

It’s All Greek to Me

This English idiom means that something is not understandable.  And  the expression can be applied to countless things and situations. Some would say it applies to trying to figure out women or men, advanced math, (maths for my British friends) science. Ikea instructions, tax forms, the update notifications on iTunes –you get the idea.

I love that this expression is old, really old and is still a current metaphor.  It has been used my many authors, even by Shakespeare in the play Julius Caesar (1599). I doubt “no homo” will still be around 400+ years from now. But I could be wrong.

“Its all Greek to me” is a metaphor. As it turns out the word metaphor comes from the Greek word metapherin (meaning “transfer”)

These booties are covered with the meander motif aka Greek key that took its name from the river Meander, a river with many twists, mentioned by Homer in Iliad. It was the most important symbol in Ancient Greece, symbolizing infinity or the eternal flow of things.

The Greek key symbolizes the bonds of friendship, of love and devotion.  These shoes remind me of my best friend growing up who is Greek. Her parents were immigrants to America. Basically my childhood was a version of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And I don’t have to tell you the papa from My Big Fat Greek Wedding would be proud, knowing all things come from Greece.

Laura

This is Africa

I had the wonderful opportunity to travel to Ethiopia this week. I can tell you –it left an impression. I have been to a lot of places, all amazing in their own right, even Fresno, no really even Fresno, but I’m sure I will never forget Ethiopia. It is so different than any other part of the world I have yet visited.

If you grew up in the United States or a similar type culture, your preconceived notions about Africa, will not be what you experience. Starting with Ethiopian food. Yes, they have their own cuisine and it is delicious. This is embarrassing to tell you, but it’s so good I actually gained weight in Ethiopia. Jokes on me. And not just one or two pounds, more like five, it’s that good. I don’t actually know how much because scales aren’t really something they care about having around. They value different things.
Ethiopia is a poor country, really poor. But this doesn’t mean they are not happy. They are very quick with a smile, generous, and appear to value the relationship more than things. Life is not easy on many levels, starting with they live among wildlife that can kill you. In one day alone, I saw wild boars, baboons, crocodiles, and hippopotamuses. I am grateful to have made it through my stay without encountering any scorpions or other deadly insects or reptiles. I was however, sitting in a restaurant and a baboon pounced into my lap, they actually have baboon guards to keep this from happening, but this fellow slipped by. I will never forget this experience. Here they accept the wild life and live among it.
I bought these shoes with me knowing I would be performing in Africa, I love these shoes, purchased online, like a good first world shopper. But I ended up leaving them in the suitcase, it just didn’t feel right, Africa’s beauty is subtler, more earthy and less manufactured. Thank you Ethiopia for expanding my worldview and being a haven of a refreshing alternate culture, a place where the Kashdashian’s are virtually unknown. Ethiopia this makes me happy.
Laura

Combat Ready?

When you read this I will be somewhere in the Middle East for the third time on a Military Tour for Armed Forces Entertainment. For security reasons I/we are not allowed to share where we are until after we have left that area, and some of the bases I have been on “technically” don’t exist. But look at a map of the Middle East, mostly likely I’m there, or headed there or have just left there.
Hopefully, this time my luggage will make it with me. It was a blast (sarcasm) to only have the clothes I traveled in for 5 days in the summer with 130+ degrees (or 9000 degrees Celsius if you prefer) in the middle of a sandstorm.
Don’t get me wrong, I am super stoked to go! But it is not a glam trip. All I can say is if you get a chance to go to the Middle East– don’t! Kidding, sort of.
God Bless our service people for being there. Having been there all I can tell you is our military personnel deserve our greatest appreciation and gratitude. Next time you meet a veteran, you thank them for their service, the sacrifices they made to serve our country were great. Better yet buy them a cheeseburger or a beer.
I am ecstatic for the opportunity to go, and I would go again any time. It might be the best feeling I have ever had as a stand-up comedian. The love the military give out for making the trip is incredible. I’m truly humbled by it.
Last year I saw the Gaza Strip from a security tower. I’ve seen places and had experiences many would not be privy too– and all I can say is thank you! Visiting these places really does bring things into perspective. I come home with a new appreciation of our silly first world problems, which are really just silly.
By the way these beauties are not standard issue military attire, unless of course you are a stand-up comedian with a shoe obsession. I’ll be sporting these babies with me for the next several weeks, I wonder if anyone will notice my version of military boots? Nothing but respect for our military and the opportunity to come out and play for them. A very humble thank you.
Laura

Travel Tips for the Shoe Fanatic

Never travel with more than 3 pairs of shoes, advice per the travel experts –Hahhahahhah!
I travel a lot.
I’m not up in the super elite miles clubs (yet), but I’m on a plane way more than the average person. Packing sucks! Always has. Always will. And I might get flack for this, but it’s even harder for a girl. Don’t argue– just agree. We need more stuff; makeup alone is a packing nightmare. The biggest problem for me is the shoes. I know, what a shock ;o)
Men really can travel with two pairs for most everything, one causal, one dressy and maybe a pair of sneakers. For many women, myself included the shoes are part of the outfit, and every outfit has its own pair of shoes, hence the problem.
I want to take all my beauties with me, but that is impossible unless I have a moving van.
I’m embarrassed to say I once traveled with 11 pairs of shoes for one week in NYC. It was long before I streamlined the packing process. The biggest deterrent now that keeps me from over packing is that I am often required to change locations/ hotels, take multiple flights and/or trains mid trip. When you have to haul your stuff around from place to place every other day, a dozen or so times in two weeks, you quickly decide less is way easier.
Travel packing experts will tell you to travel with no more than 3 pairs of shoes. I try –I really try to follow this, except I travel with 5 most of the time. Two or three pairs of show shoes, one walking/ travel shoes or tennis shoes and a pair of flip-flops.
The bigger problem is deciding which lovelies get to go on the road. I always wear fancy shoes on stage, in case you don’t like the jokes you can always look at the pretty shoes. And I have a vast collection of fancy shoes. Sadly they don’t all get to travel.
Here are Laura’s travel tips for the shoe fanatic:
1.It’s boring I know but fancy black shoes really can be versatile. Pick one pair only and make it work.
2. Decide on the outfits ahead of time, and select outfits and shoes that can be intermixed. What I plan to wear depends a lot on where I’m going. I often will pick one color to work around. So usually one bright color depending on location and attire needed or selected.
3. Lastly, long ago I decided that animal prints are a neutral color. A pair of leopard print pumps looks great with jeans or a dress, win-win!
Add a pair of cute sneakers, which I wear on the plane and toss some flip- flops in your bag for good measure, and really they hardly even count as shoes. Five pairs total, they all fit in my carry-on and I’m good to go for 3+ weeks. I’m headed to the Middle East this week with only 5 pairs of shoes, but no telling how many I will come back with ;o)
Laura

Welcome to Miami

I’ve been to Las Vegas 100s of times. New York and Chicago a dozen or more times, Paris, London and Venice a handful and New Orleans twice and of course I live in LA. All fabulous! All very different cities– but Miami is its own planet.

Just cue the Will Smith song and you will know what I mean.

It has a crazy mash up of cultures like New York City, great music like Chicago and New Orleans, just add a very Latin flair.  Great food, beautiful people and interesting architecture (#1 place to see Art Deco buildings) but add in miles and miles of white sand beaches.

Maybe it’s the heat, but its crazy like Vegas with an ocean, Merengue beats and Congo drums. It has a whole different vibe. Vegas is all flash, lights and glitter—Miami is about color; bold, bright, loud, over the top color, the brighter the color mixture the more Miami! Take a Hawaiian shirt, turn up the volume, add more of everything and make it sexy, that’s Miami.

It has an St Tropez glam sensibility with an international flair.

I purchased this pair of turquoise slides in Miami a few years back and I only seem to wear them in Miami. I call them my Miami flip-flops. They have the color and style of Miami, wear them with a tangerine orange dress with a canary yellow flower in your hair, an arm full of multi- colored bangles, that equals the Miami style.  Anywhere else in the world you would look like a clown—too many colors, retinas would burst in pain. However in Miami take your bright, bold, colorful self to one of the many discos; yes they still call them discos and they are world renown. Bonus, so fun! People in Miami really know how to dance! Walk in and completely forget it’s Tuesday! All party, at all times.

I’m headed to Miami, I’ll be there for Mardi gras, oh my. And I’m sure the rhythm is gonna get me; Gloria Estefan said it was so. If there is no shoe blog next week, you will know what happen.  “I’m going to Miami, welcome to Miami…”

Laura

Missing Shoes

Last seen somewhere in Florida, maybe or Boston, ok pretty sure it was in US. Hardly worn and deeply missed by the other shoes in the family.

I’m not exactly sure when they decided to go it alone, without me, so not positive if they are missing or they are a runaway.

Considering how much I travel, I’m surprised I haven’t lost more shoes.

This makes the 3rd pair, well technically only 2 ½ pairs I have lost. I have the right shoe of a pair lost in Las Vegas.  I wish there was a fabulous story about my left shoe.  Unfortunately, losing things in Vegas is not an uncommon occurrence. And lastly, one lost pair of flip flips, left by the pool, not a tragedy.

The saddest part of losing this pair is that they were such a good find. I acquired them in San Francisco at a DSW closing sale, I literally wrested a drag queen for them. Yes, drag queens and I have the same taste in shoes. They know glam that is without a doubt! Ladies go to an upscale drag queen bar– you will feel very dowdy, this I know from first hand experience.  And sadly we wear the same size. Ok, he was a petite queen- not a RuPaul version.

It does bother me that I don’t know where or when we parted ways- but sometimes its just time to let it go. However, should you see a lowly pair of gold sparkle pumps hitch hiking or working in a diner in the Midwest, please tell them to come home.

Reward pending.

Laura

Boston? Seattle? Super Bowl and Switzerland.

First off, I think Super Bowl Sunday should be a national holiday. Maybe not on the same level as 4th of July, more on par with Valentine’s Day.  If Valentine’s Day is for girls then boys should get equal treatment on Super Bowl Sunday.

Calm down, I know there are MANY women into football and Super Bowl and at least a few guys who enjoy Valentine’s Day. Don’t send hate messages. But in general women fair better on Valentine’s Day than guys. So I think Super Bowl Sunday could be the counterpart, just a thought. (For the record, I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day. I don’t care for any of the made for Hallmark holidays- that is a whole other rant.  But feel free to send me flowers and chocolate any other day of the year ;o)

This year Boston is up against Seattle in the Super Bowl. It’s hard for me to pick whom to support. I have a lot of great friends in both cities. I have been to both places many many times and had a blast every time. Both are fabulous cities in very different ways. Only tipping factor for Boston –I graduated from BU (Boston University).

I’m a bit like Switzerland on this topic. I could easily root for either team. “ Just want it to be a good game.” LOL

I have included two pairs of shoes this week.  The red strappy sandals were acquired at DSW Boston. Love shoe shopping in Boston in the winter, open toe sandals are a bargain—no one is buying them with snow on the ground—except this girl from Cali.

The booties are from the flagship Nordstrom in downtown Seattle. Super fun place to visit. I love the soles of these shoes with the pink lady winking. Betsey Johnson is the best at combining fashion with fun. I don’t wear this pair very often because I don’t want to lose the lady on the sole.

See the dilemma? Boston or Seattle? Impossible to decide.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday.

Laura