All in the Family

Nature verse nurture? One of many mysteries through the ages—like which came first the chicken or the egg? Or why did the chicken cross the road? Knock knock– who’s there—some things we never get to know– what, why or who.

What I do know is that we inherit more that just our physical characteristics from our relatives.  This is proven science. Some day when you are at a park, beach or Disneyland—any place with a lot of families. Observe how they walk. People from the same family often even walk the same—it’s fascinating. One of the many things (good or bad) passed on to us by DNA.

So is it nature or nurture that my nieces love beautiful shoes, just like their Aunt Laura? Was it my influence or part of our shared genetic code? And if so – whom did I get this trait/obsession from? Ok I might have to do some genealogy. Somewhere in the back of my mind I think my grandmother sold shoes—I will investigate.

All I can tell you is that when one of my beautiful nieces purchases a pair of killer shoes and feels the need to send me a photo—I couldn’t be more proud! With glee this last week I received this in a text. Go conquer the world Brooke in your stunning new heels.

Laura

 

These Boots are Funny

I have always loved pretty shoes. Like many little girls and maybe boys, I can remember trying to walk in my mother’s pumps. My mom had a fancy pair of white crystal pumps that I was positive were exactly like Cinderella’s, since they looked like sparklingly glass slippers.  She kept them in a special box on the top shelf of the closet.  I never actually remember her wearing them, but I remember when I was allowed to try them on. I might have been 4 or 5 and my shoe fate was set!

I remember my first pair of high heels.  I was about 10 years old.  Black patent Mary Jane’s with a 3-inch heel, really too high for a 10 year old. However, these hand me downs fit and my mother was not about to turn down a pair of new church shoes for me. I loved these shoes. I loved how tall they made me, and I loved the sound the heels made on the floor. I felt like I was a tap dancer.

I fondly remember the first time I purchased a pair of shoes solely for the purpose of wearing them on stage. I was new to comedy, maybe a year in– when I saw these beauties on the sale rack at DSW. All I could think was ‘These shoes are funny.’

Nine dollars- yes for $9 I started what would become my on stage persona. I always wear fancy shoes – if you don’t like my jokes you can always look at the shoes. I loved these boots. What’s not to love about sherbet lime green patent leather boots?!?  I have worn this pair of boots more on stage then any other shoes I own. Sadly these boots gave up the ghost a few years back, but they still remain among my all time favorites.  RIP my funny green boots. I still miss you.

Laura

The Very Very Brief History of High-Heeled Shoes

People seem to know that I love shoes and trivia. (And a few other things too ;o)

Surprisingly, I have never delved into the history of high-heeled shoes. It’s fascinating. I could write a book about it. Instead of trying to catch you up on six thousand years of shoe history, to quote Joe Friday from the old TV show—Just the facts, just the (interesting) facts ma’am. So enjoy the very brief history of high heeled shoes.

  • High-heeled shoes are credited first to the upper class Egyptians, worn by both sexes for ceremonial purposes.
  • During the middle ages, both men and women would wear pattens, or wooden soles. Pattens would attach to the expensive shoes of the upper classes, to keep them out of the mud and other street debris.
  • Heels grew in popularity during the 1500s to keep horse riders, both male and female, from slipping from the stirrups. The rider’s heel was initially 1 to 1-½ inches high and resembled the modern riding boot and cowboy boot.
  • During the 16th century, European royalty started wearing high-heeled shoes to make themselves look taller. A person with authority or wealth was often referred to as “well-heeled”.
  • Mid 1600s the Venetians made the chopine/platform shoe into a status symbol indicating wealth and social standing for women. Tourists to Venice often remarked humorously on the outrageously high chopines. (6- 30 inches in height). (And some say I wear tall shoes!) People joked that the chopines were invented by husbands hoping the cumbersome movement would make illicit liaisons difficult. Issues of domination and submission often being associated with heeled shoes much like the lotus shoes of China.
  • In the early 1700s, France’s King Louis XIV would often wear intricate heels decorated with miniature battle scenes, called Louis heels. The king decreed that only nobility could wear heels that were colored red. (Forerunner to Louboutin’s?)
  • Puritans in the Massachusetts Colony passed a law banning women from wearing the provocative high heels to ensnare a man or they would be tried as a witch.
  • In the post-war 1950s Christian Dior and shoe designer Roger Vivier, together developed the narrow heel called a stiletto. An Italian word for a small dagger with a slender, tapering blade. Stilettos were often banned from public buildings because they caused physical damage to the floors
  • In the 1960s as feminist movement gained momentum stilettos went out of favor. For many feminists, high heels indicated subservience and sexual stereotyping by men, a comparable successor to foot binding/
  • Women now have more shoe choices than ever before. Choosing to wear what they want, even hybrid shoes such as heeled tennis shoes or heeled flip-flops. What is certain is that heels have not disappeared.
  •  Since the Egyptians high heels have caused a stir.  Here are my ridiculous beautiful stiletto status symbol shoes.

History lesson over.

Laura

Strong Women & Stilettos!

Strong Women wear their pain like stilettos, no matter how much it hurts; all you see is the beauty in it.

Harriet Morgan

2014 was one of the hardest and yet most amazing years of my life. I can recall challenging years in the past and truly wonderful years but a combination of the highest highs with the lowest lows makes for a very interesting dichotomy.

I try always to look for the positive in all things—so I am grateful for the amazing parts of 2014, which were many!

And well for the lowest lows??!?!  I’m not yet grateful– I’m sure in (more) time I will appreciate being taken to the brink of my sanity and the life lessons I am suppose to glean.

I rather focus on the positive– I have always had a crazy wanderlust for the entire world; three times in 2014 with the flash of a text message I found myself heading to Italy and beyond. Truly, dreams come true.  Each time the universe could not have given me a more perfect gift. I am forever grateful.

I spent over a third of 2014 out of the country.  Mostly in Europe—getting paid to be there. Win Win! Cruise ships, Military tours, festivals… etc.  Places I have dreamed of visiting my entire life; Venice, Rome, Verona, the Amalfi Coast, London, Paris, Istanbul, Mykonos, Santorini, Athens, Cairo, Dubrovnik…. the list goes on and on– 21 countries total in 2014.  I met so many fabulous people. My life is forever richer for the experiences of this year. When I found myself in Venice for the third time in 2014, I pinched myself– I KNOW pretty crazy amazing!  It was incredible!

2015– I’ll take more amazing please and a little (a lot) less ‘life lessons’. Regardless of what 2015 has in store–I’ll still be in the sky-high stilettoes with a smile on my face.

This pair traveled with me everywhere. They match everything and made my feet look like rock stars! Thank you Guiseppe Zanotti.

Happy 2015!

Laura

Big Girl Shoes

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

–Dr Seuss


I once met a lady who is a death row attorney. Her clients are hard-core murders. People most of society has written off. Appearances can deceive.  She was the quiet mousy librarian type, likely to be found hiding in book stacks, not strolling into maximum-security prisons to consult with her clients.

I asked her how she did it– knowing how diminutive she was in personality. She looked me straight in the eye and said,  “I put on my big girl shoes and march in.”

Not to quote Nike or Michael Jordan–But it was the shoes! They transformed her into a very tall impressive badass attorney.

I completely understood her explanation. I am not a natural extrovert. Which makes getting on stage for me a very interesting dichotomy. When I started doing comedy I would dress to the 9s – nightclub ready. It was battle armor. I was scared to death but my clothes –they were very confident. After thirteen years what stuck?  The shoes.  I always (almost always) wear fancy shoes on stage.  When my luggage went missing in Africa I had to perform in sneakers, first time ever.  I was actually a little afraid, I wasn’t sure I could be funny without my fancy footwear. Silly I know but in almost 3000 shows, I had never once performed in sneakers.

So what came first the attitude or the shoes? For me it was the shoes. When I put on the big girl shoes I feel like I can conquer just about anything. It’s a crutch I know, but its not illegal or immoral so I’m at peace with it.

We have a new year approaching, put on your big girl shoes and show 2015 who is the boss.

Laura

 

Shoe Trees

I like to think there is a romantic intent behind the cooperative effort from many people whom collectively yet individuality create a shoe tree.

Sort of like gum walls or bridge love locks; yet shoe trees seem to be even more special because they are usually in very remote, way out of the way places. Unlike the fore mentioned gum walls and bridge love locks, which are located in popular travel locations.  There are about 12 shoe trees listed online in the United States. Several are essentially hidden in the Nevada desert, which is where I first encountered this phenomenon.

Shoe trees start with one dreamer tossing their footwear high in the air to catch an out of reach branch, unseen by most. Slowly then a domino effect; months, years or even decades can pass before this public work comes to be known as a shoes tree. Each pair added as a solo event until 1000s are dangling from the branches.

Some of the shoes have messages or poems attached; newlyweds, baby shoes, marking a personal place in history or personal accomplishments. Most are unadorned, just dreamers who want to be part of something bigger and universal.

This public work of art, years in the making, connects its contributors to this place as we travel through life.

Together, we each contribute to the fabric of life, to the universe.  Merry Merry! and Happy Happy!

Laura 

Abandoned at a Bar

Maybe it’s the influence of Cinderella, her back-story and the ultimate fairy tale ending that spurred my fascination with deserted shoes.  What happened? How did these shoes come to be homeless? Surely the wearer had shoes on and then at some point took them off and then left them behind?

This happens a lot to women, early in the evening you see the big fancy shoes and then later in the night girls dangling their heels in their fingertips. It is also a popular phenomenon at weddings, when the serious get down to boogie. The shoes get knocked off. The shoes are off, but still in possession.

When I see a shoe or a pair of shoes completely discarded I wonder, surely the wearer started with a pair of shoes on. How/when did then become unneeded? One lowly shoe on the side of the highway; I figure the owner was demonstrating some sort of road rage. Or the passenger (hopefully not the driver) had their feet out the window and one flew off?

Recently on a night out, sitting in a swanky restaurant lounge I came across a pair of deserted Louboutin’s. Yes, red soles and all.  No one, I mean no one was monitoring the whereabouts of these shoes. This is a pair of shoes even used could pull in $200+ on EBay, I suspect.  I inquired with the manager about the shoeless patron. My friend and I laughed about what women came to this establishment sporting expensive shoes and then left, leaving her Louboutin’s. Maybe she was literally swept off her feet. She is now on a private jet to Paris, off to purchase a new pair. I can only hope my modern day Cinderella this is your story.

Safe Travels!

Laura

Tis the Season

Some songs can magically transport you back to a particular time and place. It may have been years–heck decades– since you last heard that song.  And suddenly you are back at that high school dance or some other random memory you thought was all but wiped from your cerebral cortex.

They–whoever they are– say the sense of smell produces the greatest memory triggers. I’m convinced that’s how dogs remember they have met you before- even if it has been years.  A whiff of a scent can transport us back to some place buried deep in our memory. For example my grandmother’s house with a crazy combination of smells; rose perfume, baking bread and cigarettes. Not really pleasant, but distinctive.

The memory trigger from visual stimuli is actually one of our weaker recall links, but one we rely on the most.  We all love to look at old pictures.

This fabulous pair of shiny candy apple red boots is a memory trigger for me. Several Christmases (maybe 12?) ago these boots were a shining beacon on the top shelf of the shoe department. I was in Nordstrom in a completely different department, men’s I think. I was trying to find something for my father for Christmas, that he would not hate. (Notoriously a challenge to shop for) I looked up and like a lighthouse lantern on a foggy night these spectacular boots pulled me into port aka the shoe department. —And if you are a shoe lover, Nordstrom’s shoe department is always a safe haven from the holiday chaos. These shoes remind me of holiday shopping, and the glee of finding something perfect– even if it was for me. Be safe out there —holiday shopping can be a battle. Be kind and patient– really that is more the reason for the season.

Laura

Amen! Christian Louboutin!

I would hate for someone to look at my shoes and say “Oh my god! They look so comfortable”

Christian Louboutin

Amen! Christian Louboutin!

Might as well call me fat, old and/or tired looking.  Its not that I am against comfortable, actually quite a fan of comfort in all forms — but as a shoe fanatic—I never want this to be the first thought when someone looks at my shoes. Beautiful, sexy, adorable, fabulous, killer, pretty, shiny, colorful, etc.… all good. It’s like describing a girl with “she has a nice personality” yikes!  Kiss of death.

I know its complete vanity, which I’m sure is a sin, not a big 10-commandment type of sin, but a small infraction.

But if comfortable is the adjective selected above all others- take me out and shoot me.

Beautiful shoes are like art for your feet. And sometimes you must suffer for your art. If pretty shoes are not your thing, no judgment from me.  Crocs for you and Louboutins for me and we can both walk in peace. Namaste

Laura

Most Common Questions

“Don’t your feet hurt?”

“How do you walk in those?”

I get asked one or both of these questions almost every time I step out in my “big girl shoes”.

The quick answer to these questions in order is “yes” and  “with practice”.

I can however offer some advice for those wishing to go big.

  1. In general. High-end designer shoes are way more comfortable than cheap shoes.  Why? Because these companies crafted the product and their specialty is making shoes, not just mass production plastic ripe offs from China. It’s like sitting in a leather recliner verse a metal folding chair. Yes, they are both chairs, but that is about all.  Invest in some Salvatore Ferragamo, Giuseppe Zanotti, Lavin, Sergio Rossi, Fendi, Miu Miu or Lamb brand shoes or many others as well. Your feet will feel the difference. I know they are expensive, trust me I know. But a well-made pair of shoes will last for decades. A payless special not only hurt, they fall apart in mere months.
  2. Some shoes are just more comfortable, just like some pairs of paints etc.… It depends a lot on your foot shape and the shoe brand. Feet are different on everyone. They are like trees, all tress yet none look the same. My suggestions on comfort: Open toe is always more comfortable. No cramming toes into a point. Nice sturdy straps at toes and at the ankle help provide support.  These straps also help reduce what I call “balance work” while walking. A high heel with one tiny strap across the toes can be super sexy, but requires balance training to walk in.
  3. As far as walking in sky- scraper shoes. It does take practice and balance. All your weight is shifted forward and up on your toes. If you want to practice, just walk on you toes only a few minutes everyday- you will get the hang of it.
  4. Start small and work you way up. Think of it as training wheels. First a two-inch thick chunky heel, they a three-inch sensible pump, then maybe a four-inch wedge…. You get the idea. The bigger the base of support i.e. wedge is way easier that a tiny stiletto heel. And then add in height for the difficulty factor. I didn’t really mean to make this sound like a math problem.  When you can run in five-inch stilettoes, you have mastered the high heel.

 

I included a picture of a favorite comfortable pair. They reflect many of things I mentioned: High-end brand, open toe, sturdy toe and ankle straps. And they are really cute. I can wear this pair for many hours and they feel better than a pair of payless sneakers I purchased in desperation one day in NYC.

Now go and strut your stuff!

Laura