Run Run Rudolph

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is so ensconced in Christmas that is hard to imagine it was not a poem, song, movie, or even a television special initially. Rudolph, the young buck with a luminous red nose, after enduring mocking from his peers manages to prove himself one Christmas Eve by leading Santa’s sleigh on a foggy winter night. His special capabilities lead to saving Christmas and acceptance from his fellow reindeer. And really don’t we all want acceptance and acknowledgment for our uniqueness? Oh Rudy, I didn’t know your little fiction was going to evocate such depth.

This cute little parable was created by Robert L. May in 1939 as a publicity- money saving assignment for Montgomery Ward. The retailer had been gifting coloring books for Christmas every year and decided that creating their own book rather than purchasing from an outside source would save money. Originally, Rudolph was supposed to be a moose but was changed to a reindeer, which seemed friendlier. Rollo and Reginald were both names under consideration before deciding upon Rudolph. Can you imagine Rollo the red nosed moose? Not as catchy. Note to all writers including myself; always adhere to all available alliteration as authorized acceptable. Another problem with Rudolph’s initial conception was the issue of a bright red nose. Then as now, it is associated with chronic alcoholism. Rudolph’s shiny nose lead to the story’s initial rejection. Because of this, Rudolph came to be illustrated so adorably cute. The alert, bouncy, adolescent reindeer could never be construed as a drunkard.

In Rudolph’s first year of publication, Montgomery Ward distributed 2.4 million copies of the coloring book.  For you poetic types the story is written as a poem in anapestic tetrameter, the same meter as “Twas the Night Before Christmas”. Because you wanted to know. Admit it, you wanted to know.

Then came the song, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” and it is the 2nd most successful Christmas song in history. (White Christmas is numero uno). Written by someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas, of course. Since Rudolph’s launch into popular culture, he has been mentioned in numerous songs besides the classic, feature films and even a series of postage stamps.

These pumps are all-wrong, the nose is green. However, at first glance, we all know they are an incarnation of Rudolph.  Now I can’t really prance around in these festive babies all year long, but they were kitschy enough to push me into the finals of the ugly sweater contest, which I won by a nose.

Happy Merry Everything!

Laura

The Force Awakens!

So can anyone tell me…did a movie come out this weekend?

Just so you know, there will be no spoilers in this blog, so read with confidence, I will give nothing away. I was made acutely aware of how passionate people feel about Stars Wars when I was at a holiday party last night and was discussing the movie with a friend. We were reprimanded for talking about the movie –out in pubic where others could possibly hear us. If we choose to discuss the movie we were instructed to take it outside in the rain (yes it was raining in Los Angeles- it happens). I now understand the resentment smokers must feel when banished outside to participate in their unsavory habit. I hate cigarettes. Please, I’m a native Californian it is part of our native by-laws to hate cigarette smoke. But next time I pass a smoker standing outside alone in the rain I will have a sympathetic smile.

Anyhow, what I like best about all the Star Wars hoopla is that people, whole families, all of social media for at least a few days was stirred up and excited about something fun. I saw hundreds of people walking about with lightsabers. It is a nice reprieve from guns, hatred of any/all types international and local, Donald Trump and anything Kardashian.

A friend sent me this photo the day before the movie came out. He knows I love shoes and action-adventure movies. Many a movie has influenced fashions. For example there wasn’t a formal or prom dress the year Indecent Proposal came out that didn’t mimic Demi Moore’s stunning black dress from that movie.  However, the fashion influence is usually after the movie has come out, not before. That is how popular Stars Wars is; it’s having a reverse fashion influence.

What I need to know is, would the force be strong with me while wearing them? I bet in these shoes I could find anyone, even a Jedi.

Laura

 

 

“One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s Treasure”

Used, hand-me-downs, second-hand, previously owned, vintage and/or recycled. Whatever you want to call it, you weren’t the first owner.  Bonus, you didn’t pay full price. Not new, can be very deceptive. My first pair of Louboutins (and only—so far ;o) I purchased in a consignment store. Technically used, second-hand, previously owned… But they had never been worn. Score! I procured them for a third of the price. Sadly, I didn’t get the fancy box, however I was spared the enormous price tag. I will survive somehow. The wife of a billionaire who lives in Las Vegas happens to fancy fabulous footwear, and just so happens to wear my size. Sin City has now become even more dangerous. Selling unwanted goods second-hand instead of discarding them obviously benefits the seller, you get a little cash on the back end. Yes I know my Louboutins previous owner is a billionaire’s wife–but billions or no billions I can hear her husband “Did you really need another pair of shoes?” Some things are universal, bucko bucks or not. This way she gets a bit of petty cash. And I can acquire ridiculously expensive shoes at a slightly less ridiculous price. Win win! Hand- me-downs generally refer to used items, also previously owned but most of the time are gifted to you from a person cleaning out their closet. Anyone from a large family is very familiar with this concept. I have been the giver and the recipient of this exchange on many occasions. However when I ‘place’ a pair of my shoes in a new home I call it shoe adoption. My shoes are my babies and I need them to go to a good home. I also have had the good fortune of being on the receiving end of ‘new to me’ shoes. Generally they are not of the CFM glitz caliber I like but quite serviceable for the day-to-day deeds. And vintage is just fancy verbiage for used and old. But what constitutes vintage is up for debate. So the next time I travel to Vegas, it really will be because “ baby needs a new pair of shoes.” Laura

Oh Christmas Tree

I love Christmas trees!  However, I am conflicted.  To chop down a glorious 6-7 year old noble fir for the greedy gratification of adornment for of a few weeks seems wasteful, indulgent and overall not very ‘green’. I know artificial trees can be equally as beautiful but I love the smell of a fresh evergreen.  As a child I would lay next to our Christmas tree for hours and watch the lights twinkle and dance across the ceiling, the smell of the pine with the sound and warmth of a fire in the fireplace, did I mention we didn’t have a TV? This was a favorite place to daydream. We did burn our tree, so at least it served a second purpose and not just discarded to the curb. Which always seems like a gruel ending after an exalted few weeks. And if you have never burned a Christmas tree, they make fabulous kindling. FYI wrapping paper is also fun to burn, it blazes into magnificent colors, but most likely horrible for the environment.

Germany is credited with starting the Christmas tree traditions, as we now know them. Hence the hideous holiday carol “O Tannenbaum”, German for Christmas tree. If this song is a favorite of yours, I apologize. I have always found it repetitious with a rather dressing melody.

Somewhere in the 16th century is when devout European Christians brought decorated trees into their homes. It is believed that Martin Luther, the 16th-century Protestant reformer, was the first to add lighted candles to a tree.  (That seems safe. Sarcasm.) Inspired while walking home one winter evening, he was awed by the brilliance of stars twinkling amidst evergreens.

Early Americans found Christmas trees peculiar.  Even as late as the 1840s Christmas trees were seen as pagan symbols and not accepted by most Americans. Squashing the heathen traditions of Christmas carols, decorated trees, and any joyful expression that desecrated that sacred event were in some places in America enforced by law.  Can you imagine criminal charges for having a Christmas tree? Things have changed a lot in America!

However in 1846, popular British royals, Queen Victoria and her German Prince, Albert, (think Kate and William in People Magazine) were sketched in the Illustrated London News standing with their children around a Christmas tree. Unlike the previous royal family, Victoria was very popular with her subjects and what was done at court immediately became fashionable, not only in Britain, but also with fashion-conscious East Coast American Society. Voila, the Christmas tree had arrived.

Europeans generally use small trees about four feet in height, while Americans like Christmas trees that reach the ceiling. We have always liked things bigger in America.

Electricity brought about Christmas lights~ early 1900s. With this, Christmas trees began to appear in town squares across the country and having a Christmas tree in the home became an American tradition.

This ‘holiday’ tree is by no means traditional, it will not infuse the room with the scent of pine, but I would happily display it in my home Mr. Louboutin if you would like to supply the raw materials.

Happy Chanukah, Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel all that and more—peace on earth and good will towards men… falalalalalalalala….

Laura

My Foot is a Burrito

Maybe because I grew up in Southern California, with a heavy Hispanic influence, maybe because I travel a lot in countries that don’t know how amazing fresh Pico de Gallo can be on almost everything, but my craving for Mexican food starts about 10 days away from home. As a warning: NEVER go to a Mexican Restaurant in the UK. You will be sad and so disappointed. Learn to love or at least try what local cultures do well in your travels. Save yourself for the real deal upon your return. With that said I’ve now been to Scotland 7 times and still have not had haggis. However this last time I did have the infamous deep-fried Mars bar. Which while very tasty, I’m not sure was worth the calories. I have been known to stop by my favorite taco joint on the way home from LAX, for a fix. FYI its Hermosa Mexican. Fabulous!  The chicken tacos always make me happy I’m home.  And they slather on the guacamole at no extra charge! Take that Chipotle. Yes I’m a sucker for tacos.  What about the burrito you ask? While the burrito is traditional to some areas in the north of Mexico, in the south of Mexico it exists almost exclusively for tourists. The burrito is basically an impostor food. By the way, burrito actually means “little donkey.” The most popular theory as to why is that it was served out of the back of donkey carts.  Donkey has never been an ingredient, I hope.  Some theories suggest burritos look like the bed rolls donkeys often carried. To be honest no one knows why. But Laura what does this have to do with shoes?

Well the Italian shoemaker Vibram, more commonly known for its military footwear, has come up with a solution to this problem of shoes that don’t fit perfectly with its Furoshiki Shoes. Furoshiki (風呂敷) is a traditional Japanese wrapping cloth used for transporting goods. I have received a gift once wrapped this way- very impressive and beautiful. Furoshiki shoes, created by Japanese designer Masaya Hashimoto, have no laces and instead wrap around the foot–hence the name–fastening with Velcro.

Vibram calls it the first ever “wrapping sole.”

Lets be honest- it is a foot burrito. Or it could be a foot eggroll, but eggrolls are Chinese not Japanese.  So maybe it foot sushi roll. Regardless Bon appetit!

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Tower of Babel, Heavenly Shoes and God

The story of the city of Babel is recorded in Genesis 11: 1-9. Apparently at that time of Babel everyone on earth spoke the same language. They got together and decided to build a city and a tower into the sky to reach God. That is the story I remember from Sunday school.

Recently looking up the Tower of Babel – apparently the story is a bit different. God came down to look at the city and tower, remarked that as one people with one language, nothing that they sought would be out of their reach. So God confounded their speech, so that they could no longer understand each other and then scattered them over the face of the earth. Doesn’t seem very nice.

Ok, I know God works in mysterious ways—but I think we could really gain some ground on world peace if we all spoke the same language. I don’t want to get into a biblical discussion about this, not really the point. But the Old Testament God is way meaner than the New Testament God.—just saying.

I was given this mug with the saying “ The higher the heel —the closer to God’ by a friend, its fun. They know I wear skyscraper shoes – so this is my tallest pair- just shy of 6 inches. I will now refer to them as my heavenly shoes.


I’m more of a believer that God is all around us, maybe not an omnipresence in all things at all times, but more of that concept than way up in the sky somewhere. But again—your deity can be anywhere you like—I just think whoever they are for you—regardless of beliefs– they would like us all to be a bit nicer to each other. “Do unto others… “ you know the rest? Be nice—it matters. Sunday school is over.

Laura

 

Lost Luggage, Travel Tips and ‘Free’ Shoes.

I travel more than many, I suspect. I have extreme wanderlust, so I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to see the world. And I have been pretty lucky with all my adventures; my luggage has only gone on a walk-about 3 1/2 times.  And I have always gotten it back—eventually.

The first time was the most upsetting. I was traveling to Edinburgh to do my one women show  “I didn’t mean to be a Virgin in the 80s” at the Fringe Festival. (It’s still an adorable show that would make a great RomCom—hint hint investors). I packed my very important not easily replaced costume in my carry-on luggage – since it was vital to the whole show. The very unpleasant gate agent at American Airlines made me gate check my bag—stating it was too big. (I know for a fact having been on their website it met the regulation size) But if you have ever tired to argue with anyone at the gate—you will lose and get invited not to be on the flight. I arrived in Edinburgh without my very important piece of luggage. Apparently my costume wanted to go to Germany. I cried to the lost luggage agent. My month long show run was going to start with a canceled opening night if that green dress didn’t find its way back to me in less than 10 hours. The lovely lady at British Airlines not only VIP’ed my lost bag, she attended the opening show and bought 3 friends. The Scottish are lovely people.

The second time my luggage went on holiday without me was my first Middle East Military tour. I arrived in Djibouti (Africa in case your are not sure of the geography), after about a 47-hour travel day with nothing but the clothes on my back. To give you some insight. Djibouti in August is about 130 degrees and it was in the middle of a sandstorm. Weather that exfoliates- fantastic. Thankfully the base had plenty of T-shirts to share but I had to perform in my travel shoes. (I don’t fly wearing my CFM shoes, more on that later). Djibouti is a 3rd world country. There are no Nordstrom or DSWs to pick up a new pair of “Laura shoes”. I was actually nervous about performing in my ‘travel shoes’ silly I know, but it is the first and only time in over 3000+ shows I was not in fancy shoes. FYI my bag went to Germany again, without me. My suitcase and I were reunited 3 days later at the airport as I left Djibouti.

Ok, back to travel shoes.  Since I fly more than most, I have done some reading on safety. Flying is still the safest mode of transportation. FYI.

Travel tips: You are supposed to wear long pants, closed toe shoes, with rubber soles, and sadly no high heels. Incase of an emergency the rubber sole will protect your feet from heat, ice, fire and/or debris. Long pants and enclosed footwear again protection from the elements if needed.  I hope never to be in a plane emergency but I also don’t think it hurts to be prepared.

I stated my luggage has been lost 3 ½ times, because about 2 years ago on a trip home from NYC my bag was plucked up by accident by a big shot Hollywood agent type at baggage claim. (Check the tags people) To his credit the bag is high end and in a distinctive color. I had never seen another one like it either. Which is why he absconded with my bag without looking at the tag. When his bag was left and mine was gone– I knew the problem. I could of involved the airline baggage authorities, but I think that would have complicated the issue. So I just called the number on the tag (a good reason to do this- FYI) and explained the situation. At first he did not believe me. “ No one ever has a bag like mine.”  “Well I do and you have my stuff.’ He made his limo driver pull over and he checked.  Sure enough—voila- he had taken the wrong suitcase. Since he was already 20 minutes from LAX and on his way to an ‘important’ meeting he asked if I could wait 30 minutes and his driver would come back, return my bag and give me a ride home. Thirty minutes is a much quicker turn around time than dealing with lost luggage personnel and I got a ride home in limo—so I consider it a win.

This last week my luggage and I parted ways in London. I barely made the connecting flight from Amsterdam, so I knew my luggage had no chance. If you have ever traveled through Heathrow, you know that connecting flights and customs requires at LEAST an hour, and more if you have to switch terminals, I had 35 minutes. I ran, I mean RAN like in the movies to get to my connecting flight. Barely made it—I was the second to the last person to board before closing the doors. I knew then that my luggage would be hanging out in London for the night while I flew to Seattle.  Sure enough I arrived sans luggage. My case would be on the next flight from London arriving the next day about 5pm. Problem- I was performing 3-4 hours from the airport and I only have the clothes I have been wearing the last two days and no show/ CFM shoes. I explained this to the lost luggage lady and she was unsure if the airline would cover what they considered to be a non-necessary expense. So on my drive north of Seattle I purchased what I thought were essentials for the next 24-hour plus hours, which included a pair of CFM/ Laura shoes.  When my luggage and I reunited 36 hours later, with a wheel missing—my luggage went on a wild ride. Thankfully, I was graciously reimbursed for all my ‘ nessasary ’ purchases including my new shoes. So thank you British Airlines for losing my luggage? That doesn’t seem right, but I do love my new shoes. So thank you for that. 

Laura

 

All Hale….

Every city–well most iconic cities of the world have a certain je na sais quoi. It’s intangible.

I can tell you from experience London feels very different than Paris, Los Angeles and New York City are nothing alike, Miami is another planet compared to New Orleans –you get the idea. I recently visited Washington DC and it has a very real sense of its own as well. Not all the tourists or students– but if you go to Georgetown – you’ll get a sense of what I’m taking about. Power is the intangible you will perceive.

Washington DC is by no means a fashion mecca. Fashion in DC is classic, clean, expensive but not overtly sexy. Watch Veep and you’ll understand what I mean.  It is a challenge for women to power dress in this world, you want to still be a women but not dress like a man. I have picked up a fair amount of shoes in my travels and I will often name them by the city in which they were purchased. NYC is a filigreed red velvet pump; Chicago is green on green spectator MaryJanes, Vegas is showy rhinestone CFMs. See previous blogs if you want to peruse the collection.

These are my newest darlings, procured in DC on the way to the airport. I almost made it  out of the city without shoe shopping. I blame a fantastic sale and no sales tax week in Maryland. They practically gave this pair to me. I could see a first lady in these- powerful, feminine, classic style, but not gaudy.

All hale the DC pumps.

Laura

Sneakerhead Pro Athlete Term for Shoe Fanatic

I recently found out that many professional athletes are shoe fanatics like myself. We are drawn to different styles of course, but their level of enthusiasm surpasses even my own. Granted they have more funds at their discretion for their collection. But I admire their fervor for footwear nonetheless. They are called sneakerheads. Some of these elite athletes have built special rooms or cases to store their shoe collection. I can appreciate this practice, I too have some of my fancier shoes on display like a piece of art.

But this week’s shoe blog sends a huge kudos to the new San Antonio Spurs forward LaMarcus Aldridge who is upping the ante for all fellow sneakerheads/ shoe fanatics.

Mr. Aldridge who ran out of room in his house for his shoes is in the process of building a separate house behind his main house “just for shoes.”

Of course, the 30-year-old NBA star can afford both his shoe collection and a separate house for his sneakers. He just signed a four-year, $84.1 million contract.

Well done on all accounts Mr. Aldridge.

Aldridge Has Next Level Shoe Storage

10! A New Record.

I hit a new record. I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed or proud. Sadly, I actually don’t know the old record–maybe 4. But I do know that 10 is way past any previous record.

Yes–I purchased 10 pairs of shoes at one time. And I did in little less than half an hour. Should I be embarrassed? Or proud? Here’s the part I am without question proud of… spent with tax $306. (Thank you DSW of Coral Springs, Florida)  Yes, 10 pairs of shoes for about $30 a pair and I “needed” them.  One pair was actually $7, to me that’s like DSW was giving them to me—how could I not scoop up the bargain?!?

Let me explain, I hate to admit it, but I don’t wear 5-inch CFM pumps 24/7.  But that will be our secret. Don’t tell anyone. Real life happens, driving, flying, running errands… And I work.  Skyscraper heels are not conducive to most of real life.  I needed to replace some of my more practical kicks. I had been looking for months to replace some very tired looking shoes; problem is I have an aversion to spending big money on serviceable, boring shoes. I shutter at filtering away the shoes budget on anything that is not exceptional and beautiful, granted there are some cute ballet flats out there, but they will never hold the same allure to me as a pair of stilettoes.

However, good shoe karma hit me square on the head or maybe heel is better. Every pair fit and was on sale, 50%-80% off. The universe sent me a windfall of shoes. So—I bought them. Thank goodness I had packed light and they were all flats (except for one pair—please its still me) Otherwise it would have been another challenge to get them all home. But serendipity played a part –it was a grand shoe plan—and I was just doing my part—providing a home for these previously homeless shoes. So if the shoes fits, you need them and they are on sale—buy them. In my case, buy them all.

Happy Shopping.