This is Africa

I had the wonderful opportunity to travel to Ethiopia this week. I can tell you –it left an impression. I have been to a lot of places, all amazing in their own right, even Fresno, no really even Fresno, but I’m sure I will never forget Ethiopia. It is so different than any other part of the world I have yet visited.

If you grew up in the United States or a similar type culture, your preconceived notions about Africa, will not be what you experience. Starting with Ethiopian food. Yes, they have their own cuisine and it is delicious. This is embarrassing to tell you, but it’s so good I actually gained weight in Ethiopia. Jokes on me. And not just one or two pounds, more like five, it’s that good. I don’t actually know how much because scales aren’t really something they care about having around. They value different things.
Ethiopia is a poor country, really poor. But this doesn’t mean they are not happy. They are very quick with a smile, generous, and appear to value the relationship more than things. Life is not easy on many levels, starting with they live among wildlife that can kill you. In one day alone, I saw wild boars, baboons, crocodiles, and hippopotamuses. I am grateful to have made it through my stay without encountering any scorpions or other deadly insects or reptiles. I was however, sitting in a restaurant and a baboon pounced into my lap, they actually have baboon guards to keep this from happening, but this fellow slipped by. I will never forget this experience. Here they accept the wild life and live among it.
I bought these shoes with me knowing I would be performing in Africa, I love these shoes, purchased online, like a good first world shopper. But I ended up leaving them in the suitcase, it just didn’t feel right, Africa’s beauty is subtler, more earthy and less manufactured. Thank you Ethiopia for expanding my worldview and being a haven of a refreshing alternate culture, a place where the Kashdashian’s are virtually unknown. Ethiopia this makes me happy.
Laura

Combat Ready?

When you read this I will be somewhere in the Middle East for the third time on a Military Tour for Armed Forces Entertainment. For security reasons I/we are not allowed to share where we are until after we have left that area, and some of the bases I have been on “technically” don’t exist. But look at a map of the Middle East, mostly likely I’m there, or headed there or have just left there.
Hopefully, this time my luggage will make it with me. It was a blast (sarcasm) to only have the clothes I traveled in for 5 days in the summer with 130+ degrees (or 9000 degrees Celsius if you prefer) in the middle of a sandstorm.
Don’t get me wrong, I am super stoked to go! But it is not a glam trip. All I can say is if you get a chance to go to the Middle East– don’t! Kidding, sort of.
God Bless our service people for being there. Having been there all I can tell you is our military personnel deserve our greatest appreciation and gratitude. Next time you meet a veteran, you thank them for their service, the sacrifices they made to serve our country were great. Better yet buy them a cheeseburger or a beer.
I am ecstatic for the opportunity to go, and I would go again any time. It might be the best feeling I have ever had as a stand-up comedian. The love the military give out for making the trip is incredible. I’m truly humbled by it.
Last year I saw the Gaza Strip from a security tower. I’ve seen places and had experiences many would not be privy too– and all I can say is thank you! Visiting these places really does bring things into perspective. I come home with a new appreciation of our silly first world problems, which are really just silly.
By the way these beauties are not standard issue military attire, unless of course you are a stand-up comedian with a shoe obsession. I’ll be sporting these babies with me for the next several weeks, I wonder if anyone will notice my version of military boots? Nothing but respect for our military and the opportunity to come out and play for them. A very humble thank you.
Laura

Travel Tips for the Shoe Fanatic

Never travel with more than 3 pairs of shoes, advice per the travel experts –Hahhahahhah!
I travel a lot.
I’m not up in the super elite miles clubs (yet), but I’m on a plane way more than the average person. Packing sucks! Always has. Always will. And I might get flack for this, but it’s even harder for a girl. Don’t argue– just agree. We need more stuff; makeup alone is a packing nightmare. The biggest problem for me is the shoes. I know, what a shock ;o)
Men really can travel with two pairs for most everything, one causal, one dressy and maybe a pair of sneakers. For many women, myself included the shoes are part of the outfit, and every outfit has its own pair of shoes, hence the problem.
I want to take all my beauties with me, but that is impossible unless I have a moving van.
I’m embarrassed to say I once traveled with 11 pairs of shoes for one week in NYC. It was long before I streamlined the packing process. The biggest deterrent now that keeps me from over packing is that I am often required to change locations/ hotels, take multiple flights and/or trains mid trip. When you have to haul your stuff around from place to place every other day, a dozen or so times in two weeks, you quickly decide less is way easier.
Travel packing experts will tell you to travel with no more than 3 pairs of shoes. I try –I really try to follow this, except I travel with 5 most of the time. Two or three pairs of show shoes, one walking/ travel shoes or tennis shoes and a pair of flip-flops.
The bigger problem is deciding which lovelies get to go on the road. I always wear fancy shoes on stage, in case you don’t like the jokes you can always look at the pretty shoes. And I have a vast collection of fancy shoes. Sadly they don’t all get to travel.
Here are Laura’s travel tips for the shoe fanatic:
1.It’s boring I know but fancy black shoes really can be versatile. Pick one pair only and make it work.
2. Decide on the outfits ahead of time, and select outfits and shoes that can be intermixed. What I plan to wear depends a lot on where I’m going. I often will pick one color to work around. So usually one bright color depending on location and attire needed or selected.
3. Lastly, long ago I decided that animal prints are a neutral color. A pair of leopard print pumps looks great with jeans or a dress, win-win!
Add a pair of cute sneakers, which I wear on the plane and toss some flip- flops in your bag for good measure, and really they hardly even count as shoes. Five pairs total, they all fit in my carry-on and I’m good to go for 3+ weeks. I’m headed to the Middle East this week with only 5 pairs of shoes, but no telling how many I will come back with ;o)
Laura

Welcome to Miami

I’ve been to Las Vegas 100s of times. New York and Chicago a dozen or more times, Paris, London and Venice a handful and New Orleans twice and of course I live in LA. All fabulous! All very different cities– but Miami is its own planet.

Just cue the Will Smith song and you will know what I mean.

It has a crazy mash up of cultures like New York City, great music like Chicago and New Orleans, just add a very Latin flair.  Great food, beautiful people and interesting architecture (#1 place to see Art Deco buildings) but add in miles and miles of white sand beaches.

Maybe it’s the heat, but its crazy like Vegas with an ocean, Merengue beats and Congo drums. It has a whole different vibe. Vegas is all flash, lights and glitter—Miami is about color; bold, bright, loud, over the top color, the brighter the color mixture the more Miami! Take a Hawaiian shirt, turn up the volume, add more of everything and make it sexy, that’s Miami.

It has an St Tropez glam sensibility with an international flair.

I purchased this pair of turquoise slides in Miami a few years back and I only seem to wear them in Miami. I call them my Miami flip-flops. They have the color and style of Miami, wear them with a tangerine orange dress with a canary yellow flower in your hair, an arm full of multi- colored bangles, that equals the Miami style.  Anywhere else in the world you would look like a clown—too many colors, retinas would burst in pain. However in Miami take your bright, bold, colorful self to one of the many discos; yes they still call them discos and they are world renown. Bonus, so fun! People in Miami really know how to dance! Walk in and completely forget it’s Tuesday! All party, at all times.

I’m headed to Miami, I’ll be there for Mardi gras, oh my. And I’m sure the rhythm is gonna get me; Gloria Estefan said it was so. If there is no shoe blog next week, you will know what happen.  “I’m going to Miami, welcome to Miami…”

Laura

Missing Shoes

Last seen somewhere in Florida, maybe or Boston, ok pretty sure it was in US. Hardly worn and deeply missed by the other shoes in the family.

I’m not exactly sure when they decided to go it alone, without me, so not positive if they are missing or they are a runaway.

Considering how much I travel, I’m surprised I haven’t lost more shoes.

This makes the 3rd pair, well technically only 2 ½ pairs I have lost. I have the right shoe of a pair lost in Las Vegas.  I wish there was a fabulous story about my left shoe.  Unfortunately, losing things in Vegas is not an uncommon occurrence. And lastly, one lost pair of flip flips, left by the pool, not a tragedy.

The saddest part of losing this pair is that they were such a good find. I acquired them in San Francisco at a DSW closing sale, I literally wrested a drag queen for them. Yes, drag queens and I have the same taste in shoes. They know glam that is without a doubt! Ladies go to an upscale drag queen bar– you will feel very dowdy, this I know from first hand experience.  And sadly we wear the same size. Ok, he was a petite queen- not a RuPaul version.

It does bother me that I don’t know where or when we parted ways- but sometimes its just time to let it go. However, should you see a lowly pair of gold sparkle pumps hitch hiking or working in a diner in the Midwest, please tell them to come home.

Reward pending.

Laura

Boston? Seattle? Super Bowl and Switzerland.

First off, I think Super Bowl Sunday should be a national holiday. Maybe not on the same level as 4th of July, more on par with Valentine’s Day.  If Valentine’s Day is for girls then boys should get equal treatment on Super Bowl Sunday.

Calm down, I know there are MANY women into football and Super Bowl and at least a few guys who enjoy Valentine’s Day. Don’t send hate messages. But in general women fair better on Valentine’s Day than guys. So I think Super Bowl Sunday could be the counterpart, just a thought. (For the record, I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day. I don’t care for any of the made for Hallmark holidays- that is a whole other rant.  But feel free to send me flowers and chocolate any other day of the year ;o)

This year Boston is up against Seattle in the Super Bowl. It’s hard for me to pick whom to support. I have a lot of great friends in both cities. I have been to both places many many times and had a blast every time. Both are fabulous cities in very different ways. Only tipping factor for Boston –I graduated from BU (Boston University).

I’m a bit like Switzerland on this topic. I could easily root for either team. “ Just want it to be a good game.” LOL

I have included two pairs of shoes this week.  The red strappy sandals were acquired at DSW Boston. Love shoe shopping in Boston in the winter, open toe sandals are a bargain—no one is buying them with snow on the ground—except this girl from Cali.

The booties are from the flagship Nordstrom in downtown Seattle. Super fun place to visit. I love the soles of these shoes with the pink lady winking. Betsey Johnson is the best at combining fashion with fun. I don’t wear this pair very often because I don’t want to lose the lady on the sole.

See the dilemma? Boston or Seattle? Impossible to decide.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday.

Laura

 

 

All in the Family

Nature verse nurture? One of many mysteries through the ages—like which came first the chicken or the egg? Or why did the chicken cross the road? Knock knock– who’s there—some things we never get to know– what, why or who.

What I do know is that we inherit more that just our physical characteristics from our relatives.  This is proven science. Some day when you are at a park, beach or Disneyland—any place with a lot of families. Observe how they walk. People from the same family often even walk the same—it’s fascinating. One of the many things (good or bad) passed on to us by DNA.

So is it nature or nurture that my nieces love beautiful shoes, just like their Aunt Laura? Was it my influence or part of our shared genetic code? And if so – whom did I get this trait/obsession from? Ok I might have to do some genealogy. Somewhere in the back of my mind I think my grandmother sold shoes—I will investigate.

All I can tell you is that when one of my beautiful nieces purchases a pair of killer shoes and feels the need to send me a photo—I couldn’t be more proud! With glee this last week I received this in a text. Go conquer the world Brooke in your stunning new heels.

Laura

 

These Boots are Funny

I have always loved pretty shoes. Like many little girls and maybe boys, I can remember trying to walk in my mother’s pumps. My mom had a fancy pair of white crystal pumps that I was positive were exactly like Cinderella’s, since they looked like sparklingly glass slippers.  She kept them in a special box on the top shelf of the closet.  I never actually remember her wearing them, but I remember when I was allowed to try them on. I might have been 4 or 5 and my shoe fate was set!

I remember my first pair of high heels.  I was about 10 years old.  Black patent Mary Jane’s with a 3-inch heel, really too high for a 10 year old. However, these hand me downs fit and my mother was not about to turn down a pair of new church shoes for me. I loved these shoes. I loved how tall they made me, and I loved the sound the heels made on the floor. I felt like I was a tap dancer.

I fondly remember the first time I purchased a pair of shoes solely for the purpose of wearing them on stage. I was new to comedy, maybe a year in– when I saw these beauties on the sale rack at DSW. All I could think was ‘These shoes are funny.’

Nine dollars- yes for $9 I started what would become my on stage persona. I always wear fancy shoes – if you don’t like my jokes you can always look at the shoes. I loved these boots. What’s not to love about sherbet lime green patent leather boots?!?  I have worn this pair of boots more on stage then any other shoes I own. Sadly these boots gave up the ghost a few years back, but they still remain among my all time favorites.  RIP my funny green boots. I still miss you.

Laura

The Very Very Brief History of High-Heeled Shoes

People seem to know that I love shoes and trivia. (And a few other things too ;o)

Surprisingly, I have never delved into the history of high-heeled shoes. It’s fascinating. I could write a book about it. Instead of trying to catch you up on six thousand years of shoe history, to quote Joe Friday from the old TV show—Just the facts, just the (interesting) facts ma’am. So enjoy the very brief history of high heeled shoes.

  • High-heeled shoes are credited first to the upper class Egyptians, worn by both sexes for ceremonial purposes.
  • During the middle ages, both men and women would wear pattens, or wooden soles. Pattens would attach to the expensive shoes of the upper classes, to keep them out of the mud and other street debris.
  • Heels grew in popularity during the 1500s to keep horse riders, both male and female, from slipping from the stirrups. The rider’s heel was initially 1 to 1-½ inches high and resembled the modern riding boot and cowboy boot.
  • During the 16th century, European royalty started wearing high-heeled shoes to make themselves look taller. A person with authority or wealth was often referred to as “well-heeled”.
  • Mid 1600s the Venetians made the chopine/platform shoe into a status symbol indicating wealth and social standing for women. Tourists to Venice often remarked humorously on the outrageously high chopines. (6- 30 inches in height). (And some say I wear tall shoes!) People joked that the chopines were invented by husbands hoping the cumbersome movement would make illicit liaisons difficult. Issues of domination and submission often being associated with heeled shoes much like the lotus shoes of China.
  • In the early 1700s, France’s King Louis XIV would often wear intricate heels decorated with miniature battle scenes, called Louis heels. The king decreed that only nobility could wear heels that were colored red. (Forerunner to Louboutin’s?)
  • Puritans in the Massachusetts Colony passed a law banning women from wearing the provocative high heels to ensnare a man or they would be tried as a witch.
  • In the post-war 1950s Christian Dior and shoe designer Roger Vivier, together developed the narrow heel called a stiletto. An Italian word for a small dagger with a slender, tapering blade. Stilettos were often banned from public buildings because they caused physical damage to the floors
  • In the 1960s as feminist movement gained momentum stilettos went out of favor. For many feminists, high heels indicated subservience and sexual stereotyping by men, a comparable successor to foot binding/
  • Women now have more shoe choices than ever before. Choosing to wear what they want, even hybrid shoes such as heeled tennis shoes or heeled flip-flops. What is certain is that heels have not disappeared.
  •  Since the Egyptians high heels have caused a stir.  Here are my ridiculous beautiful stiletto status symbol shoes.

History lesson over.

Laura

Strong Women & Stilettos!

Strong Women wear their pain like stilettos, no matter how much it hurts; all you see is the beauty in it.

Harriet Morgan

2014 was one of the hardest and yet most amazing years of my life. I can recall challenging years in the past and truly wonderful years but a combination of the highest highs with the lowest lows makes for a very interesting dichotomy.

I try always to look for the positive in all things—so I am grateful for the amazing parts of 2014, which were many!

And well for the lowest lows??!?!  I’m not yet grateful– I’m sure in (more) time I will appreciate being taken to the brink of my sanity and the life lessons I am suppose to glean.

I rather focus on the positive– I have always had a crazy wanderlust for the entire world; three times in 2014 with the flash of a text message I found myself heading to Italy and beyond. Truly, dreams come true.  Each time the universe could not have given me a more perfect gift. I am forever grateful.

I spent over a third of 2014 out of the country.  Mostly in Europe—getting paid to be there. Win Win! Cruise ships, Military tours, festivals… etc.  Places I have dreamed of visiting my entire life; Venice, Rome, Verona, the Amalfi Coast, London, Paris, Istanbul, Mykonos, Santorini, Athens, Cairo, Dubrovnik…. the list goes on and on– 21 countries total in 2014.  I met so many fabulous people. My life is forever richer for the experiences of this year. When I found myself in Venice for the third time in 2014, I pinched myself– I KNOW pretty crazy amazing!  It was incredible!

2015– I’ll take more amazing please and a little (a lot) less ‘life lessons’. Regardless of what 2015 has in store–I’ll still be in the sky-high stilettoes with a smile on my face.

This pair traveled with me everywhere. They match everything and made my feet look like rock stars! Thank you Guiseppe Zanotti.

Happy 2015!

Laura