Big Girl Shoes

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

–Dr Seuss


I once met a lady who is a death row attorney. Her clients are hard-core murders. People most of society has written off. Appearances can deceive.  She was the quiet mousy librarian type, likely to be found hiding in book stacks, not strolling into maximum-security prisons to consult with her clients.

I asked her how she did it– knowing how diminutive she was in personality. She looked me straight in the eye and said,  “I put on my big girl shoes and march in.”

Not to quote Nike or Michael Jordan–But it was the shoes! They transformed her into a very tall impressive badass attorney.

I completely understood her explanation. I am not a natural extrovert. Which makes getting on stage for me a very interesting dichotomy. When I started doing comedy I would dress to the 9s – nightclub ready. It was battle armor. I was scared to death but my clothes –they were very confident. After thirteen years what stuck?  The shoes.  I always (almost always) wear fancy shoes on stage.  When my luggage went missing in Africa I had to perform in sneakers, first time ever.  I was actually a little afraid, I wasn’t sure I could be funny without my fancy footwear. Silly I know but in almost 3000 shows, I had never once performed in sneakers.

So what came first the attitude or the shoes? For me it was the shoes. When I put on the big girl shoes I feel like I can conquer just about anything. It’s a crutch I know, but its not illegal or immoral so I’m at peace with it.

We have a new year approaching, put on your big girl shoes and show 2015 who is the boss.

Laura

 

Shoe Trees

I like to think there is a romantic intent behind the cooperative effort from many people whom collectively yet individuality create a shoe tree.

Sort of like gum walls or bridge love locks; yet shoe trees seem to be even more special because they are usually in very remote, way out of the way places. Unlike the fore mentioned gum walls and bridge love locks, which are located in popular travel locations.  There are about 12 shoe trees listed online in the United States. Several are essentially hidden in the Nevada desert, which is where I first encountered this phenomenon.

Shoe trees start with one dreamer tossing their footwear high in the air to catch an out of reach branch, unseen by most. Slowly then a domino effect; months, years or even decades can pass before this public work comes to be known as a shoes tree. Each pair added as a solo event until 1000s are dangling from the branches.

Some of the shoes have messages or poems attached; newlyweds, baby shoes, marking a personal place in history or personal accomplishments. Most are unadorned, just dreamers who want to be part of something bigger and universal.

This public work of art, years in the making, connects its contributors to this place as we travel through life.

Together, we each contribute to the fabric of life, to the universe.  Merry Merry! and Happy Happy!

Laura 

Abandoned at a Bar

Maybe it’s the influence of Cinderella, her back-story and the ultimate fairy tale ending that spurred my fascination with deserted shoes.  What happened? How did these shoes come to be homeless? Surely the wearer had shoes on and then at some point took them off and then left them behind?

This happens a lot to women, early in the evening you see the big fancy shoes and then later in the night girls dangling their heels in their fingertips. It is also a popular phenomenon at weddings, when the serious get down to boogie. The shoes get knocked off. The shoes are off, but still in possession.

When I see a shoe or a pair of shoes completely discarded I wonder, surely the wearer started with a pair of shoes on. How/when did then become unneeded? One lowly shoe on the side of the highway; I figure the owner was demonstrating some sort of road rage. Or the passenger (hopefully not the driver) had their feet out the window and one flew off?

Recently on a night out, sitting in a swanky restaurant lounge I came across a pair of deserted Louboutin’s. Yes, red soles and all.  No one, I mean no one was monitoring the whereabouts of these shoes. This is a pair of shoes even used could pull in $200+ on EBay, I suspect.  I inquired with the manager about the shoeless patron. My friend and I laughed about what women came to this establishment sporting expensive shoes and then left, leaving her Louboutin’s. Maybe she was literally swept off her feet. She is now on a private jet to Paris, off to purchase a new pair. I can only hope my modern day Cinderella this is your story.

Safe Travels!

Laura

Tis the Season

Some songs can magically transport you back to a particular time and place. It may have been years–heck decades– since you last heard that song.  And suddenly you are back at that high school dance or some other random memory you thought was all but wiped from your cerebral cortex.

They–whoever they are– say the sense of smell produces the greatest memory triggers. I’m convinced that’s how dogs remember they have met you before- even if it has been years.  A whiff of a scent can transport us back to some place buried deep in our memory. For example my grandmother’s house with a crazy combination of smells; rose perfume, baking bread and cigarettes. Not really pleasant, but distinctive.

The memory trigger from visual stimuli is actually one of our weaker recall links, but one we rely on the most.  We all love to look at old pictures.

This fabulous pair of shiny candy apple red boots is a memory trigger for me. Several Christmases (maybe 12?) ago these boots were a shining beacon on the top shelf of the shoe department. I was in Nordstrom in a completely different department, men’s I think. I was trying to find something for my father for Christmas, that he would not hate. (Notoriously a challenge to shop for) I looked up and like a lighthouse lantern on a foggy night these spectacular boots pulled me into port aka the shoe department. —And if you are a shoe lover, Nordstrom’s shoe department is always a safe haven from the holiday chaos. These shoes remind me of holiday shopping, and the glee of finding something perfect– even if it was for me. Be safe out there —holiday shopping can be a battle. Be kind and patient– really that is more the reason for the season.

Laura

Amen! Christian Louboutin!

I would hate for someone to look at my shoes and say “Oh my god! They look so comfortable”

Christian Louboutin

Amen! Christian Louboutin!

Might as well call me fat, old and/or tired looking.  Its not that I am against comfortable, actually quite a fan of comfort in all forms — but as a shoe fanatic—I never want this to be the first thought when someone looks at my shoes. Beautiful, sexy, adorable, fabulous, killer, pretty, shiny, colorful, etc.… all good. It’s like describing a girl with “she has a nice personality” yikes!  Kiss of death.

I know its complete vanity, which I’m sure is a sin, not a big 10-commandment type of sin, but a small infraction.

But if comfortable is the adjective selected above all others- take me out and shoot me.

Beautiful shoes are like art for your feet. And sometimes you must suffer for your art. If pretty shoes are not your thing, no judgment from me.  Crocs for you and Louboutins for me and we can both walk in peace. Namaste

Laura

Most Common Questions

“Don’t your feet hurt?”

“How do you walk in those?”

I get asked one or both of these questions almost every time I step out in my “big girl shoes”.

The quick answer to these questions in order is “yes” and  “with practice”.

I can however offer some advice for those wishing to go big.

  1. In general. High-end designer shoes are way more comfortable than cheap shoes.  Why? Because these companies crafted the product and their specialty is making shoes, not just mass production plastic ripe offs from China. It’s like sitting in a leather recliner verse a metal folding chair. Yes, they are both chairs, but that is about all.  Invest in some Salvatore Ferragamo, Giuseppe Zanotti, Lavin, Sergio Rossi, Fendi, Miu Miu or Lamb brand shoes or many others as well. Your feet will feel the difference. I know they are expensive, trust me I know. But a well-made pair of shoes will last for decades. A payless special not only hurt, they fall apart in mere months.
  2. Some shoes are just more comfortable, just like some pairs of paints etc.… It depends a lot on your foot shape and the shoe brand. Feet are different on everyone. They are like trees, all tress yet none look the same. My suggestions on comfort: Open toe is always more comfortable. No cramming toes into a point. Nice sturdy straps at toes and at the ankle help provide support.  These straps also help reduce what I call “balance work” while walking. A high heel with one tiny strap across the toes can be super sexy, but requires balance training to walk in.
  3. As far as walking in sky- scraper shoes. It does take practice and balance. All your weight is shifted forward and up on your toes. If you want to practice, just walk on you toes only a few minutes everyday- you will get the hang of it.
  4. Start small and work you way up. Think of it as training wheels. First a two-inch thick chunky heel, they a three-inch sensible pump, then maybe a four-inch wedge…. You get the idea. The bigger the base of support i.e. wedge is way easier that a tiny stiletto heel. And then add in height for the difficulty factor. I didn’t really mean to make this sound like a math problem.  When you can run in five-inch stilettoes, you have mastered the high heel.

 

I included a picture of a favorite comfortable pair. They reflect many of things I mentioned: High-end brand, open toe, sturdy toe and ankle straps. And they are really cute. I can wear this pair for many hours and they feel better than a pair of payless sneakers I purchased in desperation one day in NYC.

Now go and strut your stuff!

Laura

 

 

A Long Time Friend

I love shoes, no secret there. And I know love is a strong word for an inanimate object, I get it. People say they love pizza or donuts and I think we all understand that they really enjoy these foods, however not planning a life long relationship with a jelly donut.

With that said, shoes (at least for me) deserve more space in the love spectrum than a pizza. Why? Because I have several pairs of shoes that have out lasted relationships, sadly some of which I thought were going to be life long friendships.  A special pair of shoes can remind you of a wonderful place and time, just like a song. I have several pairs of shoes I procured while staying in Scotland. Every time I wear them I am reminded of fun times and the lovely people I know across the pond.

Some shoes are like an old friend, always there, always ready when you need them. And I still have one very special pair of stylized white cowboy boots.  This might be the oldest pair in my collection. I wore them (gasp a few decades ago) to every dance club in Hollywood/Los Angeles. I’m surprised I didn’t wear out the soles! There were my dancing shoes!  We shared many many crazy fun times.  Just looking at them I hear the Kinks “Coming Dancing… and I am transported back the 321 Club, Coconut Teasers, The Palladium, The Troubadour, Seven Seas, The Roxy, The Viper Room, Dillon’s, Whiskey A Go Go etc.… all fun places I went with these boots.

I can’t part with them, honestly we grew up together. And the good part is these boots don’t judge and will never share any of my foolish (I was young) secrets.

Laura

Marry my Shoes?

It’s not a secret to anyone who knows me or has ever seen me on stage, I love pretty shoes.  (I always wear fancy shoes on stage. If you don’t like what I’m saying you can always just look at the shoes.) Because of my shoe love people will send me shoe sayings and photos. (“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she can conquer the world.” Marilyn Monroe. Is one of my favorites.)  I enjoy these shoes musings of course. I received this gem about a week ago.

A wedding cake but instead of a bride and groom there is a golden slipper.

First I thought how pretty and I love cake. Then I was disturbed.  Is this suggesting I should marry a shoe? I do love shoes, but I hope when I say this it is understood this is not the same as the complex and wonderful emotion of love for a person. But then I thought about it again (Did I mention I have insomnia?) I have several pairs of shoes that have out lasted many relationships. I have shoes that have been with me through some of my most crazy fun times and through some challenging times as well. And there they were offering support, their soles firmly connecting me to the ground, all without judgment.

My shoes have been there for me in richer and in poorer, in sickness and in health, the good times and the bad.  And truly for many pairs it is only when they died did we part. I’m a many time shoe widow.

Marry my shoes? Well no. But I won’t dismiss their impotence either. We have been through so much, but I will enjoy the cake.

Laura

Its Not Always Pretty.

I get asked a lot; how many pairs of shoes do you own? Do you really wear all of them? How can you walk in those? Are you constantly giving/ throwing away shoes?

I never mind questions about my shoes. I love shoes. Shoes are fun and no matter how much Halloween candy, holiday cookies, or chocolate Easter eggs you have eaten, they always fit! I have pictures of some of my favorites stored on my phone like cherished friends.

How many pairs do I own? I honestly don’t know. Probably a number I should be embarrassed about, but this does not embarrass me. Actually I am proud of every pair. Each pair was lovingly chosen. And yes I wear every pair I have ever purchased. Some more than others of course. It’s hard to pull off thigh high black sequined boots on a daily basis.

Walking in heels just takes practice. At first you look like a newly born baby giraffe but in time, you’ll get the hang of it. Well most do. My advice start small 2-3 inches and work you way up to 5+ inches. I can always tell actresses in movies and red carpet events who don’t wear heels often, they look like the above mentioned baby giraffes. I could run (Not far mind you) in heels if needed.

As far as discarding my lovelies, I keep most of my shoes until the end of their life. Some shoes live longer than others. Cloth shoes wear out faster than leather etc.… I have rock star status with the cobbler in my neighborhood. I keep him busy re- pairing and cleaning up my darlings. I had a pair of boots resoled 4 times before I finally let them lay to rest.

Mostly the shoes give out on me before I give up on them. Case and point this pair of black wedges. They were several years, but they were great for walking. I was visiting my dear friend the fabulous Nita Apple in downtown LA. (If you want any project improved by 1000% hire her for a consult! http://makingitsmall.com) We had walked to brunch about a mile from her home. It was a lovely sunny Sunday and then in the middle of the crosswalk of 6th and Flower the center of the wedge just fell out, it literally disintegrated. Now I was walking like the above mentioned baby giraffe.  The middle of wedge just called it quits. I was trying to hobble back to her home on this dilapidated shoe when the back of the shoe also gave up the ghost. Now walking was truly hilarious. Nita and I laughed so hard at the ever-disappearing shoe. It was funny and the champagne from brunch I’m sure spirited our giggles. I made it back to my car eventually and of course I had some other shoes in my car- I always do. (Scout motto be prepared)  So this pair decided life was over before I was done with them. RIP Black Wedges, thank you for the laughs!

Laura

 

Left in the Wild

My second favorite shoe haunt is DSW in Boston. I have procured a lot of lovelies here and bonus, always on sale.

Every once in a while I run across a pair that leaves me torn, should I or shouldn’t I? That is the question. I wasn’t going to write that last line, but everyone reading this was thinking it, so I just finished the logical thought pattern.

This striking pair of boots has a lot going for them; one I don’t have a pair like them. I do however have a pair of boots the same color, but in patent leather and BTK (below the knee). These are ATK (above the knee) and suede- so clearly very different. Anyone not into shoes is rolling their eyes right now.  That really is their problem if they don’t understand, not mine/ ours.

Another plus, these shoes are on sale, not super on sale, but 30% is decent.

Another plus, I would wear them, no really I would. Not often mind you, but trust me on this all my shoes get a time to shine.

With so much going for them why would I leave these beauties in the wild terrain of the shoe sale racks?

The most logical and boring reason, I don’t have room in my luggage. I travel very streamline and I guess the love ratio is not high enough for me to figure out how to ship them. So ladies I left this pair out in the wild for another shoe lover to enjoy, your welcome.

Laura