Most of the old nursery rhythms are sinister and/or political in nature—Thanks Mother Goose—sweet dreams. Ever really think about the words to Rock a Bye Baby? Frightening!

“There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.

She had so many children; she didn’t know what to do.

She gave them some broth without any bread;

And whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.”

The earliest record of “Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe” was printed in Joseph Ritson’s “Gammer Gurton’s Garland” in 1794. The rhyme is reputedly linked to Queen Caroline, who had eight children and her lack of control over parliament.  Is this true? I have no idea. It will be like trying to explain Don Trump running for office in 2265. No one will understand or really care.

I didn’t live in a shoe so much as fall into a shoe. On a recent trip to Vegas—what happens in Vegas… except when your friends take pictures to document your idiotic behavior.

In the fall, Christian Louboutin is opening a store in Vegas. Will I be there? Ah.. Do birds fly? Anyhow in the Cosmopolitan Hotel to garner attention, there is a huge Louboutin shoe. I could not resist the photo op. All good until I fell in said shoe—and literally could not get out. The drop is nearly 2 feet and on a downward angle. And I’m wearing a skirt. I was laughing to hard I had lost any muscle strength with tears streaming down my face. It was funny. But no I really could not get out, not without flashing the entire audience of people watching and also laughing. Oh there were others taking pictures as well—did I mention it was funny? The more I tried to get out the more I was laughing – it was hopeless. My friend was on the ground in stitches—no help. Finally a group of Italians, very little English came by and saw the predicament. They vaulted my out of the shoe— grazie mille! Moral of this fable? I love shoes, but do not wish to live in one.

Laura